Sometimes I feel I’m in a dream.
Especially when I’m sitting in a cafe, sipping my almond latte, reading my book, thinking about what to write about.
Staring the people outside and the ones passing by the cafe. They are all different, they all pass by with a different reason, some to study, some are reading books, someone is meeting with an old friend, or a big group of tourists. But one thing is the same. They all seem to be busy, they all seem to know where are they coming from and where are they going to.
And when I look at me, I’m just the dreamer.
I’m always wondering why birds are flying back home after winter and not staying somewhere beautiful where the sea is. Why do they take that long trip, risking their life, just to be be back where they were born. They could just stay. They could find places where it’s easier to live. Where they don’t have to fight so much.
What if I won’t be able to do all the thing I want to do? That’s my biggest fear in this life.
There is no day this question not crossing my mind.
I was never good in choosing. In deciding. Telling what I want to do, what’s gonna be my exact profession and how I’m going to spend my days in the rest of my life.
I’ve just noticed that I’m talking a lot about past events and feelings, thoughts, contemplations, but I’m not telling too much about my present and everydays.
I find this kind of ok, because in a certain way I tell a lot about myself and I open up my deepest emotions, so it would be really too much to add my daily timetable including if I had any fights, troubles, what I had for lunch and if I feel like cleaning or not!;)
But it’s true that lately I was talking sometimes in keywords… S
So briefly here is what’s happening to me in nutshell.
Have you noticed, it’s hard to choose between comfort and uncertain?
It’s hard to give up something what makes you feel safe and comfortable. If you’re lucky, it’s even more. Maybe you’re happy and maybe you are surrounded by great people and nice environment. But still… something deep inside you tells, it’s time to move on, to stand up and walk away.
Have you ever felt like closing your eyes for a second, and when you open them again, all the things you were looking for are gone?
I have the same feeling about summertime.
Winters are always so long and you can not wait to finally enjoy those summer days, go to the beach and swim, lie on the sun, have a picnic, barbecue, summer night walk, endless parties, oh and ice-coffee..;)
I have to admit, I totally neglected writing my blog.
That gives you an idea how inspired I was in Iceland and how inspired I am at home. :P
I have been doing lots of interesting stuff, concerts, picnics, friends, amusement park, visit at home and work, work, work.
So, it’s not about not doing things, but I feel less creativity than when I’m on the road.
I couldn’t wait to come home and start some art projects, writing… including some blogging too.:)
But it’s never too late, so one and a half months after my journey, I feel like energizing myself and start something with me and my creativity… if it still exists!